Perfectionists Anonymous

I met a gentleman yesterday who dreams of having a special gift: to have a "Pause" button for one day a month, where the world halts for 24 hours, but he carries on, using those moments for whatever he pleases.  After those 24 hours, the world resumes its normality, but unbeknownst to anyone, he has had those secret 24 hours to himself!  What a brilliant idea!  Why, oh why, can we not hit pause for a brief moment when things get a little rocky?! 

For instance, I have had my identity stolen and it is being ridden around the country like the proverbial "village bicycle."  (Please note: I avoid the phrase "Victim of Identity Theft" because it rings with powerlessness, and I will not feel defeated by this thing!)

Needless to say, moments of disheartened frustration (along with bouts of tears and shortness of breath) are inevitable, but they have forced me to take pause.  

Finally, exhausted, I tried to remove myself emotionally and recognize what I could learn from this and what I had the power to change.  

Aha!  The only thing I can really change is my attitude or myself, and it hit me!  Throughout this entire minor disaster, I still expected perfection from myself in every other undertaking!  But I think I've finally gotten the message!  Perfection is both fleeting and overrated!  

On that note, this is where you come in because I realize I am not the only graduate student (or human being) who struggles with such Perfection Affliction.  (We really should have our own support group... "Perfectionists Anonymous...")

Each of us is driven to put forth effort and energy towards the things we care about, and perhaps we may get carried away.  I mean, let's think about this. You are not motivated to do just enough to get a C on a test!  You study yourself silly!  You want the A!  It is simply not in our nature to go half-way... in anything.  But how can we give 100% of ourselves, 100% of the time?

With that said, I would like to encourage you to consider two things that have helped me cope, and I hope they offer you some value:

Recognize you are good enough.  

Have faith in yourself, your talent and all that you have to offer. You have experienced so many successes already! Personal, professional, academic, athletic... Large or small, you have succeeded! Rely on that past performance and on your natural intellect and insightfulness.

Don't minimize who you are or what you can do!
You do not have to be perfect to be your fantastic, perfect-as-you-are self! You will succeed in whatever you choose.  It is just part of who have become. Let go of any self-imposed pressure to be perfect. You are already good enough!

Along these same lines, I would also like to share this simple, yet significant "doodle with dialogue" in which I have found reassurance.  

As business school students, as human beings, we struggle to manage all that we demand of ourselves, and we often demand perfection with each and every hat we may don.  Not to burst anyone's bubble, friends, but it is impossible to be perfect in every endeavor!  You are enough!