Dear Stress, Let's Break Up

Exams, end-of-term projects, outside consulting projects, boxing training, social life, and oh, yes, the all-important job search...  It makes me want to say

Can you relate?!  It's safe to say each of us balances more than enough (too much?) to fill those meager 24 hours a day, and let's not forget the time we must devote to our jobs and sleep, let alone family time or time for ourselves to regroup, get grounded, get our wits about us - you know what I mean.  

How in the world can we hope to do it all and do it all well?  

I've realized that occasionally we have to re-evaluate our coping strategies and here's what I've found to be helpful: 

• Prioritize
• Do the best you can with the time, energy & resources you have
• Don't hold yourself to an unreasonable standard of perfection because the yard stick we use to measure ourselves is much more stringent than the one others apply to our performance
• Find the time for what's really important, what lets you shine, what gives you the energy to keep on

Fact: Stress really does do damage to our bodies!  The chemicals we secrete because of prolonged stress levels encourage colds, fatigue, sugar cravings and other conditions that can prohibit us from achieving greatness.  

Yikes-ski!  It certainly explains why I crave sugar & caffeine when I'm anxious, and it definitely makes me want to change my approach to life.  

Which is why I was so intrigued when a friend of mine recently mentioned the 10-10-10 rule.  Have you heard of it?  

Basically, with any decision that causes you unrest, apply this test: 

What are the consequences of the choice I make in 10 minutes? 10 months? 10 years?   

Gives you perspective, doesn't it?  

After he shared this with me, it gave me pause and  

What will really have an impact on my life over the long-haul?  What is that important? Certainly not a 100 on an Econ exam or the "perfect" term paper.

That is not to say that I won't give it all I can, but I realized I cannot get an A on every test this semester.  Other things take priority.  I cannot make more hours in the day, and I cannot sacrifice my sleep or health in the pursuit of perfection.  Besides, perfection is subjective and totally overrated! Life is too short!  We must do the best we can with what we have, and realize it truly is good enough!  

How's Your Aim?

"Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life."

- Dr. David M. Burns, professor and best-selling author.

Garbage In, Garbage Out?

You know the old adage, "Garbage In, Garbage Out"... Well, every time I turn around, this message is meeting me head on, leading me to consider my own speed and accuracy in information processing.

How have I been approaching decision making?  How should I approach decision making in order to avoid a GIGO type situation, particularly with the real world quickly coming up on the horizon?  I don't think real life leadership is a multiple choice exam, do you?  If it is, I'm going to need a study guide, STAT.

But in all seriousness, I started to really think about this.  Questions raced through my mind... Am I actively seeking quality input - paying attention in class, listening instead of just being ready with a response, thinking critically about the case assignments and readings?  Am I doing enough to stay current and up-to-date on real business topics and trends?  How can I possibly hope to deliver quality output through my perceptions, interactions, and decisions in the workplace & the world if I don't have all the information, all the current data?  When it's time, how can I be a great leader, or even a good leader, if I don't have all of the facts?  The world is go-go-go! How do these CMO's possibly make decisions in such a fast moving marketplace?

So, I leaned on some very insightful life gurus - Scot Safon, the Sensei of Critical Thinking, my mentor and recently, a veteran CEO - for some pretty solid advice, and here is the skinny:

Be a Life Long Learner.  
Be a Sponge of Information. 
... And Don't Expect Perfection.  Aha! And There We Are. 

Seeking critical, current knowledge about the business world and my own competitive environment (research on my target company, social media and marketing innovations, etc.) does allow me to stay informed, but how do I stay agile and relevant in a climate of constant change?  There must be some sort of a balance between speed and accuracy.  There is.  Turns out "Garbage In, Garbage Out" isn't so cut and dry.  "Garbage" is all relative.

Obviously, the ability to adapt and react quickly is key.  Responding effectively and intelligently is invaluable.  Together, we realize sometimes that means you make the best decision you can with the information you have.  Yes, we want to make well-educated, decisions, but there is a clear difference between reacting and responding.  We want to be in the middle.

Reacting too quickly and off-the-cuff leads us to making poor choices just to get the decision done; we may overlook critical information simply out of fear of missing an opportunity or  waiting too long for more information risks living in the land of diminishing returns, missing an opportunity, letting go of a competitive edge, or missing out on a fun opportunity.  The magic is in the middle.  Go with your gut.  Get as much information as you can without sacrificing too much of your favorite fleeting resource - time - and make the best decision you can.

Pondering this, I am the first to admit, I fly by the seat of my pants.  In some cases, I will make a decision just for decision-making sake, thinking I need to move on to the next thing; let's get this done.  Other times, I hem and haw over a dinner menu as though I'm selecting my last meal on earth.  For me, I indeed recognize there is a need for more of a balance between the two, giving up being reactive to instead be responsive.

What about you?  How do you balance agility with the need for speed?

Perfectionists Anonymous

I met a gentleman yesterday who dreams of having a special gift: to have a "Pause" button for one day a month, where the world halts for 24 hours, but he carries on, using those moments for whatever he pleases.  After those 24 hours, the world resumes its normality, but unbeknownst to anyone, he has had those secret 24 hours to himself!  What a brilliant idea!  Why, oh why, can we not hit pause for a brief moment when things get a little rocky?! 

For instance, I have had my identity stolen and it is being ridden around the country like the proverbial "village bicycle."  (Please note: I avoid the phrase "Victim of Identity Theft" because it rings with powerlessness, and I will not feel defeated by this thing!)

Needless to say, moments of disheartened frustration (along with bouts of tears and shortness of breath) are inevitable, but they have forced me to take pause.  

Finally, exhausted, I tried to remove myself emotionally and recognize what I could learn from this and what I had the power to change.  

Aha!  The only thing I can really change is my attitude or myself, and it hit me!  Throughout this entire minor disaster, I still expected perfection from myself in every other undertaking!  But I think I've finally gotten the message!  Perfection is both fleeting and overrated!  

On that note, this is where you come in because I realize I am not the only graduate student (or human being) who struggles with such Perfection Affliction.  (We really should have our own support group... "Perfectionists Anonymous...")

Each of us is driven to put forth effort and energy towards the things we care about, and perhaps we may get carried away.  I mean, let's think about this. You are not motivated to do just enough to get a C on a test!  You study yourself silly!  You want the A!  It is simply not in our nature to go half-way... in anything.  But how can we give 100% of ourselves, 100% of the time?

With that said, I would like to encourage you to consider two things that have helped me cope, and I hope they offer you some value:

Recognize you are good enough.  

Have faith in yourself, your talent and all that you have to offer. You have experienced so many successes already! Personal, professional, academic, athletic... Large or small, you have succeeded! Rely on that past performance and on your natural intellect and insightfulness.

Don't minimize who you are or what you can do!
You do not have to be perfect to be your fantastic, perfect-as-you-are self! You will succeed in whatever you choose.  It is just part of who have become. Let go of any self-imposed pressure to be perfect. You are already good enough!

Along these same lines, I would also like to share this simple, yet significant "doodle with dialogue" in which I have found reassurance.  

As business school students, as human beings, we struggle to manage all that we demand of ourselves, and we often demand perfection with each and every hat we may don.  Not to burst anyone's bubble, friends, but it is impossible to be perfect in every endeavor!  You are enough!